Sunday, August 31, 2008

Day 14. Take The Initiative In Friendships

"I'm convinced that one mustn't wait for people to reach out -- we must reach in." Jan Karon, author of the Mitford series

Sometimes we wait for the other person to initiate the first gestures of friendship. We wait for someone else to invite us for coffee; we wait for someone to notice we're having a down day; we wait for someone to come talk to us when we're standing in a room full of strangers at a social gathering or conference.

It's true we may feel nervous introducing ourselves, but if we let fear stop us from reaching out, we may end up being on the outside looking in more often than not. And, none of us wants to be in that place.

I believe Jan Karon is right when she says we shouldn't wait for someone else to reach out to us. If we want to be a part of 'the group' then we should take the initiative -- take ownership -- to create and design our own circle of friendship. A circle that does not exclude, but one that is ever widening to enfold and welcome the stranger, whether she is a new consultant, colleague, neighbour, or fellow social event attendee. 

Chances are, there will always be someone more nervous, more introverted than we are. If we focus on making that other person more comfortable, we may find our own sense of insecurity and awkwardness lessening. And, right there in the middle of a crowd, a shared moment of 'friendship' has an opportunity to bud, maybe even blossom into something more lasting.

It's another way to live a more beautiful life ... for ourselves and for others.

Gracefully yours,



  1. remember September 26, Just thought I would remind you . Ha Ha

  2. Ha ha! It's now noted on my calendar...not that I'd forget this particular birthday!

  3. Hi Brenda!
    I love that idea, remind them of your big day!!!!! For the last 12 yrs I've been so frustrated on my birthday... I'm the one who plans for everybody else and makes sure that the cards are sent so that they receive them on their birthday and yet I find many of my friends don't a)remember mine b) send a card or c)forget!
    I'm excited to let them know when and where my party for myself will be!!!!

  4. Hi Trish,

    You made my day! Thanks for taking the time to get in touch.

    Some of my best birthday celebrations have been the ones I planned myself.

    So...when the big day arrives, I hope this one will be your best birthday ever!

  5. I had never looked at it this way. Reaching out the them instead of worrying about how they will react to me. That is so profound! Thank you!

  6. Thanks glad to get your comments. Hope the insight will make your own encounters that much more beautiful.

  7. Thanks for your kind comments about me remembering people's birthdays. I always try and acknowledge their birthdays. My birthday doesn't mean much anymore now that Emma's birthday is the day before me. Her's is more important than mine, so that is ok.

    I really enjoy reading your blog.



To My Beautiful Readers,

Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same. ~ Franz Peter Schubert

Thank you so much for leaving your 'footprint' here in my comment box. I do appreciate you taking a moment to share your thoughts today.

Brenda xo