“If only I could...”
So often we sigh over our dreams and secret desires and then thrust them away because we think it’s a waste of time to hope for something that can’t happen. Although the obstacles may be legitimate–finances, health, family–we shut down our desires before we even give them air to breathe.
There’s a lovely old movie, Enchanted April, where on a soggy, miserable English afternoon two women happen upon the same newspaper ad:
'To those who appreciate wisteria and sunshine. Small medieval Italian castle on the shores of the Mediterranean to be let furnished for the month of April…’
You feel their longing, even as they push the ad aside. It’s impossible. Too many hurtles. Little finances. And what will their husbands say. Yet they yearn. Dream. Ponder. When they bravely step over their inhibitions, that dream becomes reality and changes their lives forever.
For me, recently I've been dreaming about a lovely new writing room. It has to be something different than the space in front of my computer. There's no room here to read or research or just write something long hand (which I still enjoy doing very much). Besides, I've read that a person should use different tools when writing, as they each seem to connect to a different part of the brain, which tends to stir the 'remembering' in slightly different ways.
So I dream of a large table, antique, with a gleaming surface of beautiful walnut, curved legs with curlicues carved into them. It stands near a wall of long windows where the light and sunshine streams in. There are wall-to-ceiling built-in bookshelves and a fireplace with comfy chairs and cushy couches in one corner. Beautiful panels of lace waft as breezes blow in through the open French doors that lead out into a pretty sitting area in the garden. (Are you seeing my dream?)
At this stage, my house doesn't allow for that. No room big enough for a large writing table, just to write on. No long windows or French doors into the garden. BUT... I stopped to dream it and I haven't finished dreaming it, because I didn't get to the other beautiful things in my writing room that would inspire me to write.
So... now that I know what my heart longs for, how can I do something about it? Can I do some version of that here in my house right now? Who knows what the imagination can work out, if I let it out into the open.
Things won't ever happen or change…until, at the very least, we allow ourselves the freedom to dream about it. If you’ve been firmly turning your back on something, I invite you to open the door and give your own dream room to breathe again. Who knows what will blow in?
Wishing you glimpses of heaven in unexpected places,
Photo source: glittergraphics.com