Thursday, September 04, 2014

Don't Wait for Others To Reach Out


"I'm convinced that one mustn't wait for people to reach out
~ we must reach in."
Jan Karon, author of the Mitford series

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes."
A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Sometimes we wait for someone else to invite us out for coffee, to notice we're having a down day, or to remember it's our birthday. At a party or small gathering, we stand around hoping someone will come over and say hi because we feel too shy.

I used to do that, and I realized that, ofttimes, my supposed 'shyness' had a lot to do with my fear of rejection. I used to worry about being snubbed, so I was reluctant to risk going over and introducing myself.

As I say, that's how I used to be, until I started paying attention to those wise ancient words that perfect love casts out fear. I overcame my fear when I chose to forget about my own self for a while, and start focusing on someone else.

I like what Jan Karon said -- we shouldn't wait for someone else to reach out to us. If we want to be a part of the group, then why not look for someone else who looks even more nervous than ourselves. Focus on making her feel more comfortable, and you'll be delighted to find you're forgetting about your own discomfort.

We'll never be on the outside looking in when we are the ones opening the circle to welcome someone new into our lives. A circle that does not exclude, but is ever widening to enfold a new acquaintance, neighbour, co-worker, or fellow conference attender.

All those years ago, when I started taking the initiative to reach out, I was amazed at how easy it got to walk into a room without fear. I love it. Talk about it changing my life for the better....and the more beautiful. The best part, really, is the joy that comes when making someone else feel more at ease and comfortable. 

So... here's to ever widening circles of friends ... loving gestures ... and kind hearts!

Wishing you glimpses*´¨)
> ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
> (¸.·´ (¸.·´ * of heaven in unexpected places! *


PS. This post was originally published at PerfectlyPink, 2009. I thought these beautiful thoughts shared by Jan and Winnie warranted another go 'round.


  1. I love this! It is so hard to feel comfortable when one is feeling left out. Really, we make ourselves out, not the other way around. Thanks for the reminder!

  2. Lovely post, Brenda. I just visited with a friend today who stated that she has trouble reaching out to introduce herself to people, afraid of their reaction to her.

  3. A few months ago, we changed churches, and doing so brought a gal into my life that I had briefly known back in the mid 2000's. We were fellow homeschoolers and had seen each other at support group meetings, but we were hardly more than acquaintances. So, I ran into her at church, and we talked for awhile, and then I asked her if she'd like to get together for coffee sometime. We did, and we had a wonderful time. We really clicked! We're getting together again next week.

    She told me she was so glad I took the initiative and asked, because she never would have done that.

    The moral of the story is, just as you wrote, reach out. You may develop a wonderful new friendship by doing so.


  4. Very well said. It can be hard to reach out but when we do, we gain so much. I think it helps us take the focus off ourselves and place it on being there/helping others.

  5. Brenda, me & mom love your new profile photo ! Beautiful !!!
    And thanks so much for birthday wish for me :)
    My mom is probably hard core quiet when it come to this situation...and you know ? When she's all about CATS !...MOL

  6. LOVE your beautiful words, Brenda. I invite you to drop by my blog today for a post about a special tea and to see them in action! I haven't posted for awhile but as things are winding down after summer , I am glad to be 'home' again. I enjoy visiting with you always.

  7. I love your quotes from Jan Karon and Winnie too. What you say is very good advice. Sometimes I have a hard time joining in in a room of people I don't know. Taking to heart what you said certainly would help. Thanks for sharing. <3

  8. I, too, love this post!!! I used to be shy about taking the initiative. My knitting has helped me in this area of my life. Also seeing former students snd colleagues who are actually happy to see me!
    ???Now, where are my needles and yarn??? Oh, yes, right by my recliner!! Ha!

  9. Your hand reached out to me and I thank you for the warm touch.

  10. Gah! I LOVE THIS! I hope this would reach to people who think they should be reached out. :3


To My Beautiful Readers,

Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same. ~ Franz Peter Schubert

Thank you so much for leaving your 'footprint' here in my comment box. I do appreciate you taking a moment to share your thoughts today.

Brenda xo