Memories: My Wedding Dress

"This is more than just a wedding dress.

It is the embodiment of a dream come true."

KEOULA WHEELER

No great clouds of tulle, no long train, crinoline, or trailing veil. Marrying at age 41, I no longer desired the kind of dress I dreamed about as a girl. I wanted something simple with just a hint of twirl and flounce. Trying on several gowns, I knew when I saw it in the mirror. This was the one, it felt just right. A dress in off-white cream, an ankle-length full skirt, the bodice and sleeves in lace—a silhouette of soft romance.

Somewhere I read that classic wedding dresses are designed to stand the test of time, meaning you'll never cringe when looking back at your wedding portraits. I'm glad to say that I still love the simplicity of my wedding dress, and I smile when I see it...us...in the photos.

Months before there was a thought of a wedding, I saw a photo in the February 1998 issue of Victoria magazine (see below). If I was ever going to be a bride, this was the bouquet I wanted to carry. At that time, there was not even a hint in the air of a wedding—I wasn't even going out with the fellow. But nevertheless at the mature age of 41, a girl will have her dreams, and I dreamed of carrying this bouquet down the aisle to my waiting heart mate, whoever he might be (we had our fingers crossed).

"Love is the flower

you've got to let grow."

UNKNOWN

"Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life,

love gives us a fairy tale."

MELSSA BROWN

Since that day more than 25 years ago, the dress has been hanging in the closet. And every so often when I'll be looking for something else, I'll see it and take it out. A rush of emotion-filled memories flood in.

There has been the long tradition of keeping one's wedding dress with the idea of handing it down to someone in the next generation. Hopefully a daughter or even a granddaughter. For me, there is no one to pass it down to—my nieces have their own moms' things, if anything is to be passed down. So I wonder why I keep it tucked up in the cupboard when perhaps someone else out there could wear it on her special day and enjoy its loveliness.

That day when I was in the clearing out mood, I slipped the shoulder ribbons from the fabric hanger with the intention to fold the dress into a nice box and take it to a second hand shop. I couldn't. I could fold away some of my old formal dresses I once wore as I knew I'd never wear them again. But this gown? I'll never wear it again either. Neither Rick or I are the truly 'romantic' types where we'd renew our vows or dress up in our wedding clothes for a milestone anniversary photo. I think he might gently roll his eyes if I suggested it. But then again he might not.

There is one little memory of my dress on our wedding day that still sparkles like diamonds in a ring. It was the end of the day. The party was over, the guests were gone. Rick and I were getting into the car to drive to our hotel. He opened the door for me, and as I got in, he took my swirly skirt and gently tucked it around my feet, making sure the hem was safely in. The glint of his new wedding band against the creamy skirt made my heart skip a beat. I was the bride, he was my bridegroom. And I was about to go away into my new life with this man I loved. It's a moment I have never forgotten.

Back in the closet I hung my wedding dress. It doesn't take up much room. Maybe I'll be ready to pass it along another time. But not today.

❦

Wishing you a beautiful Spring weekend,

Brenda

Spring at the Conservatory

"And the Spring arose on the garden fair,

Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;

And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast

Rose from the dreams of its wintry rest."

PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY, from The Complete Poems

While winter continues to play the bully outdoors, we took ourselves to the Muttart Conservatory to catch their Spring Display. Despite the blustering winds, the day was glorious with bright sunshine streaming through the pyramid glass walls. The place was alive with fellow seekers of Spring. As the double doors to the feature pavilion swung open—like doors at a wedding that open for the beautiful bride to walk through—it was like stepping into another world. We stared. We breathed in the scent of hyacinth and jonquils drifting on the air. Every corner was brimming with sunshine and the bright hues of tulip, daffodil, and primrose—an artist's palette for winter tired eyes.

One woman exclaimed as our eyes met, "It's like having dessert!" Oh my, yes! Elizabeth von Arnim said it best when she described Lottie Wilkins in Enchanted April as Lottie opened the shutters and gazed over the 'flower-starred' grass her first morning in Italy:

"She stared. Such beauty; and she there to see it. Such beauty; and she alive to feel it. Her face was bathed in light. Lovely scents came up . . . and caressed her . . . How beautiful, how beautiful. Not to have died before this . . . to have been allowed to see, breathe, feel this . . . how could one describe it? It was as though she could hardly stay inside herself, it was as though she were too small to hold so much of joy, it was as though she were washed through with light."

Photographs never do it justice, but I'm hoping this tiny glimpse of our visit will lift your hearts if, in your corner of the world, you still await for the fullness of Spring.

"I must have flowers, always and always."

CLAUDE MONET

If you take a flower in your hand and really look at it,

it's your world for a moment.”

GEORGIA O'KEEFFE

"Despite the forecast, live like it's spring."

LILY PULITZER

The beautiful spring came; and

when Nature resumes her loveliness,

the human soul is apt to revive also.

HARRIET ANN JACOBS

❦

To all who celebrate, Happy Easter!

Wishing you a beautiful weekend,

Brenda

Photo credits:

Brenda @ It's A Beautiful Life

Things I Like

Often it's the little things we

like that get us through the day.

Inspired by Linda's list on her blog who was inspired by Joyce Carol Oates's list, I borrowed the idea to create one for myself. I tried not to be too fussy or perfectionist about it... wanting to just let the random thoughts flow up. It's by no means a comprehensive list, and if I were to write it next week, you'd probably see one that's altogether different.

Here's today's version of Things I Like:

Making lists. Robins in spring. Canada Geese in vees. Handel: Messiah "I Know That My Redeemer Liveth" / Water Music. JS Bach. Agatha Christie / Louise Penny / Donna Leon. Phases of the moon. All four seasons. Emily Dickinson: "I am out with lanterns, looking for myself." Lattes / Latte art. Rainy days / Snowy mornings. Books on Nature writing / Memoir / Historical fiction. Blogging / Writing. Solitude. Sitting in the garden. "Go. Be. Love." Pussy willows / Tulips / Peonies. Bringing order from chaos. Juxtaposition of light against dark skies in a rainstorm. Deep prairie skies. Harvest moon. Waves lapping. Helping out. Writing letters. Lamps in a window. Happy childhood memories. Ice cream cones. Debussy: Claire de Lune. Pretty notebooks. Chariots of Fire: "And when I run I feel his pleasure." Sandwiches / Dark chocolate / Birthday Cake. Presents. Blue / Sea-green. Singing. Laughing. Pencils.

Kindred spirits. Van Gogh / Monet. Beauty. Honesty. Gift From the Sea. "Who said the world was fair?" Cheezies. Libraries / Old Bookshops. Purring kitty cats. BeeGee's Too Much Heaven / Staying Alive (the beat gets me doing my walking workout 😊). Skirts that twirl. Sparkling windows. Flowers and taking closeup pics of them. Henri Nouwen / C.S. Lewis / L.M. Montgomery. Mozart's Requiem as sung in Oxford one spring evening on my 60th. Lavender scented anything / Spritzing on Joy by Dior. Curtains wafting on a breeze. Giving gifts. Pottering. Good conversations over coffee. Enchanted April / 84 Charing Cross Road / You've Got Mail / Out of Africa / Pride and Prejudice (1995). Bees in the garden / Leaves in the wind. Kindness. Compassion. Comments from blog friends. Dog barking in the far distance / Lawn mower droning on a summer evening. Amor Towles: A Gentleman in Moscow. Pretty postage stamps. Cozy: Sweaters, blankets, nooks. Children laughing. Reading in bed. Twilight. Coffee brewing / Bacon sizzling / Crunchy toast. Learning new things. Oxford / Victoria / Edinburgh. Aretha Franklin singing I Say A Little Prayer for You.

Even as I close this list, there are dozens more I could add, but enough is as good as a feast. Are your thoughts running? Have you been inspired to create your own list?

❦

Wishing you a beautiful day,

Brenda

Photo credit:

Top Image by Oldiefan from Pixabay

Friday Pleasantries

"I know the world is filled with troubles

and many injustices, but reality is as beautiful

as it is ugly. I think it is just as important to sing

about beautiful mornings as it is to talk about the slums.

I just couldn't write anything without hope in it."

OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN

While spring shakes off the vestiges of winter in the great outdoors, I'm still inside sorting my current material possessions, deciding what to keep, what to give away, what needs to be tossed. Time has slipped away, and here it's time for a new blog post. Yesterday I set up my draft, searched for a suitable photo (above), and whispered a prayer for a spark of inspiration to get me started. I hoped it might arrive in the night hours while I slept.

I follow Austin Kleon, artist/author from Texas, and this morning his weekly newsletter popped in my inbox. On reading his heading "Basic Pleasantries", I felt the spark of interest and began working on my own simple and hopefully pleasant Friday post. 

ONE. Spring is in the air

The snow is melting fast. The house finches are singing to beat the band. And Rick spotted the first Canada Geese flying overhead towards the storm pond. It's still frozen but these early birds are eager to find the best spots for raising this season's batch of goslings. If that's not a cheering sight, I don't know what is.

TWO. So is love

My sister sent a charming news article of a young woman who met her future husband at the Honolulu airport. Awww, it was a lovely read. If you're interested, you'll find the article HERE. Pssst. We think there's a love story unfolding nearer to home in the family. It's an exciting time of year for young love.

THREE. Tea samples

A lovely friend who'd been vacationing in Victoria, BC, sent me a small package in the mail. It included samples of the teas she purchased at the well known Murchie's Fine Tea & Coffee shop: Publisher's Blend ("a chocolatey, nutty and malty blend of black teas, best accompanied by stacks of manuscripts that need reviewing.")—I'll be sipping that with my latest book; and Russian Caravan ("a blend of black teas and smoky Lapsang Souchong (to) recreate the campfires and brisk, starry nights experienced by the caravans carrying tea to the Russian Czar.")—maybe I'll pull out some Tolstoy to read with that tea. Also included was a fragrant bag of Lavender Cream ("A beautifully balanced lavender black tea with creamy vanilla.")—I love lavender tea. Looking forward to trying them.

FOUR. Basic pleasantries

We were ordering cups of tea and coffees from the clerk at the order counter - for four. The polite middle-aged woman was patient as we decided what beverage, the size we wanted, and whether we needed milk, cream, or sugar. Was that everything? Yes, said Rick, getting out his card to tap. But then she spotted me still eyeing the muffins in the showcase so she waited a nanosecond until I decided on a Bran Muffin. For some reason, I felt this woman noticed the little things, she paid attention to her customers, and I felt that slight connect of the heart. I smiled and thanked her warmly for serving us. It's a day later and the warmth of the tiny exchange still resonates. I appreciated her awareness of me as a customer. I felt seen. I hope she felt the same in our brief exchange of pleasantries. 

FIVE. A quote that caught my eye

 "Grace is like a blanket of hope

that covers you at night when you

don't think you have what it takes to

get up in the morning."

CAROLINE MYSS

Thank God for that grace every morning!

❦

Wishing you a beautiful weekend,

Brenda

Photo Credit:

Image by vinsky2002 from Pixabay

Emily Dickinson: A Literary Hero (Part 3)

"I dwell in possibility..."

EMILY DICKINSON

Emily Dickinson and her poetry left its mark on my heart, and I didn't realize how much until I began working on this post. I don't exactly recall how I came to know Emily or her poems. I don't remember learning about her in school. Perhaps I first saw her poems quoted in women's magazines my mom used to read. Or, maybe an aunty or school teacher penned a well-intentioned few lines in a girlhood autograph book: "If I can stop one heart from breaking . . . If I can ease one life the aching / Or cool one pain / Or help one fainting robin / Unto his nest again / I shall not live in vain".

I do know my imagination felt a buoyancy when I first read: " 'Hope' is the thing with feathers / That perches in the soul...". And then there were these lines: 

"I'll tell you how the Sun rose –

A Ribbon at a time –"

Who can forget such a phrase! I don't understand some of Emily's poetry, but some pieces, some lines truly are unforgettable... and gorgeous. Emily wrote nearly 1,800 poems; only a handful were published in her lifetime. People knew she wrote poems, for she often included them in letters when writing to friends and correspondents. And she created small handmade books of them. But no one knew until after her death how prolific—or brilliant—she was.

What fascinated me about Emily was her decision to live as a recluse. For reasons unknown to anyone, from an early age she chose to restrict her social involvement and activities, preferring to live in the heart of her family home. I never desired to be a recluse the way she was—yes, I'm an introvert but I also have a bit of social butterfly in me—but I think I get it. For I can be quite content with my own thoughts, happy with my own company and books, at my desk by the window writing... being in the heart of my home, happily pottering about.

I imagine Emily sitting at her desk near a window probably overlooking the garden or her neighbourhood, and from that place, writing her 'letter to the world'. Even as a recluse she left her mark on the literary world. Though her world was small, she had a keen poet's eye for description. I often wondered how she was so insightful. Surely a curious mind and a sense of wonderment sharpened her ability to pay attention to what went on around her. In retrospect, I also wanted to sharpen my own sense of curiosity and wonderment - I wanted to be able to express what I saw and felt so others could see and feel it too.

According to letters and documents from her family estate, Emily also enjoyed gardening and was an accomplished cook, taking pride in making cakes, cookies, and candies, both for her family and as gifts for friends. I especially loved the story of Emily carrying a basket filled with freshly baked cookies or gingerbread to an upstairs window in the rear of the house and lowering it to the neighborhood children who'd been playing 'pirates' or 'circus performers' in the Dickinson orchards. The kids must have loved her kind generosity, and she obviously took delight in handing out yummy treats to them. Years ago, I contacted the Emily Dickinson Museum in Amhurst, Massachusetts, asking if I could obtain a copy of Emily's gingerbread recipe. Unfortunately the recipe wasn't available for public distribution at the time. I was disappointed. Perhaps I envisioned myself imitating Emily handing out gingerbread to kids in my own neighbourhood (although maybe not using baskets from an upper window).

I was happy to discover, while searching out some information for this post, that the recipe is online in an article written by Burleigh Mutén, a children's author and tour guide at the Emily Dickinson Museum (they do have a lovely online store). The recipe looks delicious—I'm going to try it and, if it turns out, share some with my neighbours. You'll find the recipe HERE.

❦

Like Emily, I sit at my desk, look out into the snow-clad garden, and gaze past my neighbour's roof top into the blue skies. I muse and watch and write my own letter to the world. And so today, I honour Miss Emily Dickinson. In her small world, she found her life and lived it beautifully. I'm inspired by that. As with my other literary heroes, I fervently hope I will one day meet her in the next life to say thank you for her gentle, poetic influence in my life. We just never know, do we, who or what our lives are touching! 

On that note, I close with a few other favourite quotes of Emily's which I hope you will enjoy.

A few quotes by Emily Dickinson

"One step at a time is all

it takes to get you there."

"Tell all the truth but tell it slant..."

(That's a good line for when we're trying to

remember our stories but the details are vague)

"The Heart wants what it wants – 

or else it does not care"

(There's no use telling it to smarten

up, for the heart will yearn.)

"If you take care of the small things, 

the big things take care of themselves. You

can gain more control over your life by paying

closer attention to the little things."

"Saying nothing...

sometimes says the most."

"If I feel physically as if the top of my head

were taken off, I know that is poetry."

(For me, it's as if my skin wants to burst

like an overripe tomato.)

"They might not need me; but they might.

I'll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small

as mine might be precisely their necessity."

❦

Links to My Earlier Literary Heroes Posts

Part 1: Lucy Maud Montgomery

Part 2: Mother Teresa

❦

On that note, I'm wishing you a beautiful weekend—and don't

forget, it could be your smile that fits precisely someone's necessity today.

Heart hugs,

Brenda

Photo credit:

Images by Brenda @ It's A Beautiful Life