Day 14. Take The Initiative In Friendships

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"I'm convinced that one mustn't wait for people to reach out -- we must reach in." Jan Karon, author of the Mitford series

Sometimes we wait for the other person to initiate the first gestures of friendship. We wait for someone else to invite us for coffee; we wait for someone to notice we're having a down day; we wait for someone to come talk to us when we're standing in a room full of strangers at a social gathering or conference.

It's true we may feel nervous introducing ourselves, but if we let fear stop us from reaching out, we may end up being on the outside looking in more often than not. And, none of us wants to be in that place.

I believe Jan Karon is right when she says we shouldn't wait for someone else to reach out to us. If we want to be a part of 'the group' then we should take the initiative -- take ownership -- to create and design our own circle of friendship. A circle that does not exclude, but one that is ever widening to enfold and welcome the stranger, whether she is a new consultant, colleague, neighbour, or fellow social event attendee. 

Chances are, there will always be someone more nervous, more introverted than we are. If we focus on making that other person more comfortable, we may find our own sense of insecurity and awkwardness lessening. And, right there in the middle of a crowd, a shared moment of 'friendship' has an opportunity to bud, maybe even blossom into something more lasting.

It's another way to live a more beautiful life ... for ourselves and for others.

Gracefully yours,

Brenda

 

Day 13. Happy Saturday

Oh, the bliss of a lazy Saturday morning... especially when it's the Saturday of a long weekend! 

The air hints at autumn (it can come early in northerly Alberta) -- there's a crispness in the air that makes you want to wrap your fingers around a warm coffee cup, and nibble away at something tasty like a flaky chocolate drizzled croissant.

Even after nearly five years of not working full-time and being at home full-time, I still get that little thrill of knowing the weekend has arrived.

It's the time that, for many of us, tends to be more flexible and there's room for more spontaneity and leisure. For us, Saturday seems to promise more of that than any other day of the week. And, even if it's busy, there's a feeling that you can indulge yourself a bit. With chocolate croissants, for instance.

Now, in case you have chores on your weekend list, here's a bit of advice that's worth taking:

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Lower the bar. Actually spending ten minutes clearing off one shelf is better than fantasizing about spending a weekend cleaning out the basement. ~ Gretchen Rubin, source

Now, go and enjoy your weekend,
Brenda

xox

Day 12. Victoria Is My Favorite!

I was in love from the first moment.

It still stands vivid in my mind -- that exact moment the summer of 1987, standing in front of a magazine stand longing for something truly wonderful to browse through -- when I spotted it ... the gorgeous cover of a brand new magazine.

And I sighed ... for I knew a little heart desire had been heard and answered.

From the front cover to the last page, and every page in between, it was exactly what my feminine heart had been longing for. A magazine that spoke to the softer, gentler side of life; a magazine that celebrated the creativity and originality of women who followed their dreams; a magazine that recognized the importance of Beauty and its place in our lives.

These magazines continue to be a great treasure for me; even years later, whenever I need a pick me up or some creative inspiration, I often reach for my Victoria's. It's balm for a soul -- you know, "just take two issues with tea and call me in the morning."

What amazes me is that, here in Blogland, I have met dozens upon dozens of other readers who have been just as smitten as I am. I realize just how populated the world is with kindred spirits. Women, like me... like you... who also share a love of beauty, nature, art, books, and craftsmanship. It's a beautiful circle.

With so many disasters happening around us in our world, one time I wondered what I would take from my home if I had to make an emergency exit. I don't know if I should admit it out loud...but I'd take my Victoria's if I could. My Bible, journal, toothbrush, Miss Kitty...and my Victoria's. I figure if I'd have to live in a school gym for a while, I could do it with more finesse if I had a little beauty in my hands to help 'steady the nerves'.

I'll always be grateful to Nancy Lindemeyer and all her editorial team for the beautiful gift they gave to the world when Victoria was born. It's a legacy that still speaks deeply to me... all these years later.

Gracefully yours,

Brenda

Day 11. Beauty In The Creative Process

I once read a story of a Baker who loved to make bread. He was an artisan in his craft. Because he worked the dough himself, from start to finish, he could only produce a few dozen loaves in a day. Because he had time to be creative in his bread-making, his bread became more and more popular.

Soon people were clamoring for him to expand his business. He kept saying no as that would mean taking his work into a whole different dimension. I felt bad for him, because here was a man doing what he loved, and doing only enough so that he could still love what he did each day.

To take it to an assembly line would have taken the artistry out of his baking. And the joy of actually working with his hands in the dough would have been traded for turning machinery buttons on and off. Some may call that progress, but is it?

Oscar Wilde says that every portrait painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. The artist in this instance is this passionate baker, and the portrait his loaves of bread. I might be romantic here, but perhaps that's why the customers begged for more... he poured his love of working with flour and yeast and dough into each loaf. Every loaf was a unique expression of himself -- not exactly the same shape or even with the exact same ingredients, because he could change his mind and add raisins without ruining a truckload of flour. You can't get that in mass production!

Mass production and creativity don't usually live on the same street. Artistry takes time. Enjoying the process takes time too. We may be tempted, even pushed into doing more and making it bigger. But more is not always better. Not if we trade in our God-given creativity and the ability to be original. To truly enjoy our work and to find pleasure in the process, not just the end result.

I've often wondered about that artisan-baker. I hope he never traded in the joy of using his hands to make bread for an increase in production of his product. I believe not only he would have suffered as a person, but everyone who bought his bread would have been disappointed in the end too.

Thoughtfully,
Brenda

Day 10. Celebrating A Mini-Success

It's Day 10 and today I'm celebrating! You may recall that I set myself a goal to do 100 postings in 100 days. In other words, a challenge to be diligent and committed to writing every day--not just in my personal journal--but so someone else can read it too.

Well, I am happy...I've already accomplished one tenth of my goal and I'm having a blast doing it too!

I begin to see the value of celebrating our mini-successes. It helps us to stay motivated during the long haul. When we work on a goal that has a longer time frame and requires more effort and skill, the small movements forward can help stay off discouragement, especially if we've begun to doubt our ability to achieve it.

If we focus on what is not happening (eg I'm not losing 25 pounds right now), it's so easy to neglect what is happening (ie. I'm adjusting one small eating habit that will eventually make a difference over time).

Focusing on what is happening can help create a built-in circle of motivation. You reach one small success, you get excited, you get motivated to do more, you take the next step, you achieve that, you get more excited, you do the next step....

And, while I'm marking this occasion, I want to THANK all you beautiful readers who have been so kind and positive in your feedback by leaving a comment or contacting me via e-mail and personally. I appreciate it a whole bunch! I love writing, and knowing that what I share from my heart is touching yours in some way means a lot to me.

So why not do something to celebrate some small success today! And together we'll watch our motivation rise to a new level.

Wishing you a beautiful day,
Brenda