Still round the corner there may wait,
A new road or a secret gate.
~ J. R. R. Tolkien
My blogging has almost come to a standstill, as you well know. From posting every day in the beginning, to several times a week, to once a month, it has the look of a writer gasping her last breaths.
At first, I thought posting less often was a result of working offline on other writing projects, and that I didn't have energy or inspiration for both. Yes, that was true, but I also realized I was running out of fresh new things about which to write. It was not that I stopped seeing those 'glimpses of heaven' in my world around me. But, I did start asking myself, how many flower photos can I show you, how many times shall I tell you that I'm enjoying the view from my study window as I watch the birds at the feeders, the squirrel chasing down the back fence, and the neighbourhood bunny having another nibble from my rosebushes? What if my posts were getting a bit stale?
Since those early blogging days my life has changed. I'm not involved in the many outside activities I used to be. For the most part, my daily life is simple and quiet, pleasant and enjoyable for someone who loves her solitude and quiet space. But when it comes to blogging about what's going on, well, there's just not a lot new to chat about. I don't have kids or grandkids to talk about. I don't go to Oxford every year for my birthday (see previous post). I even read less these days, slowing my pace down so I can savour and ponder more. Which means less books to talk about too.
Originally I started blogging to establish the habit of writing more regularly. I wanted to share 'the breathings of my heart' further afield. From the very beginning, I loved the whole process: designing it, learning how to create posts, and finally, by pressing publish, bravely sending my words out into the world.
From the start, blogging gave me a small audience. Even a dozen readers was more than I had before. I wasn't looking for hundreds, certainly not thousands, to read the blog; in fact, I felt a little nervous about that kind of exposure. But I knew I wanted to connect with kindred spirits, those individuals who shared similar interests and then wrote about it on their own blogs. I appreciated the immediacy of connection in Blogland. I certainly loved the beautiful feedback and affirmation that began to show up in my comment boxes. The truth of it, that's what I looked forward to the most after hitting the publish button -- finding a comment from someone who resonated with something I wrote. That's what moved me, continues to move me.
The truth is, I don't want to park my blog like an old used car. It's still my favourite way to write and connect with kindred readers. And what I've been finding out recently, this blog continues to have value and meaning for many of you. You've told me so, some even saying, you wished I would write more often, as you'd love to read more. Trust me, those comments are like music to my ears.
So, I thought about what to do. I waited, listened, prayed. All the while thinking about how I still wanted to write about living a beautiful life, but that I needed a new focus, a new direction for the blog.
And, finally it came to me. There's a story I've been wanting to write out for a long time now. And, I found out, too, that I really like writing blog posts much better than trying to write a manuscript for a book. So I'm going to post what I've been trying to write in a book. It's the story of how I found my beautiful life. How, when I found myself 30 years old and still single, I had to set aside the long cherished dream of being a wife and mother by age 22 or 23, and by 25, at the very latest. It was the life-changing inward journey of discovery. When I look back at it all, I marvel at how God directed my steps and brought me into a place of wholeness, beauty, and joy.
At first, I thought posting less often was a result of working offline on other writing projects, and that I didn't have energy or inspiration for both. Yes, that was true, but I also realized I was running out of fresh new things about which to write. It was not that I stopped seeing those 'glimpses of heaven' in my world around me. But, I did start asking myself, how many flower photos can I show you, how many times shall I tell you that I'm enjoying the view from my study window as I watch the birds at the feeders, the squirrel chasing down the back fence, and the neighbourhood bunny having another nibble from my rosebushes? What if my posts were getting a bit stale?
Since those early blogging days my life has changed. I'm not involved in the many outside activities I used to be. For the most part, my daily life is simple and quiet, pleasant and enjoyable for someone who loves her solitude and quiet space. But when it comes to blogging about what's going on, well, there's just not a lot new to chat about. I don't have kids or grandkids to talk about. I don't go to Oxford every year for my birthday (see previous post). I even read less these days, slowing my pace down so I can savour and ponder more. Which means less books to talk about too.
* * *
Originally I started blogging to establish the habit of writing more regularly. I wanted to share 'the breathings of my heart' further afield. From the very beginning, I loved the whole process: designing it, learning how to create posts, and finally, by pressing publish, bravely sending my words out into the world.
From the start, blogging gave me a small audience. Even a dozen readers was more than I had before. I wasn't looking for hundreds, certainly not thousands, to read the blog; in fact, I felt a little nervous about that kind of exposure. But I knew I wanted to connect with kindred spirits, those individuals who shared similar interests and then wrote about it on their own blogs. I appreciated the immediacy of connection in Blogland. I certainly loved the beautiful feedback and affirmation that began to show up in my comment boxes. The truth of it, that's what I looked forward to the most after hitting the publish button -- finding a comment from someone who resonated with something I wrote. That's what moved me, continues to move me.
The truth is, I don't want to park my blog like an old used car. It's still my favourite way to write and connect with kindred readers. And what I've been finding out recently, this blog continues to have value and meaning for many of you. You've told me so, some even saying, you wished I would write more often, as you'd love to read more. Trust me, those comments are like music to my ears.
* * *
And, finally it came to me. There's a story I've been wanting to write out for a long time now. And, I found out, too, that I really like writing blog posts much better than trying to write a manuscript for a book. So I'm going to post what I've been trying to write in a book. It's the story of how I found my beautiful life. How, when I found myself 30 years old and still single, I had to set aside the long cherished dream of being a wife and mother by age 22 or 23, and by 25, at the very latest. It was the life-changing inward journey of discovery. When I look back at it all, I marvel at how God directed my steps and brought me into a place of wholeness, beauty, and joy.
“It has always been on the written page that the world has come into focus for me. If I can piece all these bits of memory together with the diaries and letters and the scribbled thoughts that clutter my mind and bookshelves, then maybe I can explain what happened. ... Maybe I can tell my story in a way that is useful to someone else.” ~ Nancy Horan, Loving Frank
Some people I know have blogged their story and then later turned it into a book. Depending on how it all turns out, perhaps that's what I will do down the road, but for now, I just need to write it down. And, to share it with you, my friends.
I'm not sure how often I'll post about it. I'd love once a week, but it takes me ages to sort out what I need to say, so I'll aim for once a month for right now. Plus, I will continue to post the occasional 'letter from home' or a Friday Five collection to fill you in on what's happening in the garden, what the birds are doing, not to mention the silly squirrel, and all the other good stuff called life.
"When a book (post) leaves your hand, it belongs to God. He may use it to save a few souls or to try a few others, but I think that for the writer to worry is to take over God's business." ~Flannery O'Connor
So often we like to signal a new season in our lives with a marker of some kind. Like getting a new hairdo or writing a new poem, or reading a new-to-us author. It's a signal to the world that something has changed in us -- something old has passed away, something new is about to spring forth. In that vein, you might find some little changes to the blog when you next visit.
On that note, I'm wishing you glimpses of heaven in unexpected places.
With love and hugs,
Brenda
♥
