Thursday, September 01, 2011

But Honestly...

Maria Victoria Heredia Reyes /

Today I'm sharing a post by fellow blogger Clare Grant. She shares something that has often been a snag in my own life, that is, trying to get out of something I don't want to do. To have the courage to say No honestly, and without excuses, guilt, or shame ... or being ugly about it.
For some of us, that's hard to do, as we're so used to shoving away our own desires as being invalid. Somewhere along the way we've picked up the idea that it is selfish to say no.

Clare said it so simply that I asked if I could re-print her post here for you. Hope you enjoy.

"I'd love to do xyz but I don't have pqr."

If I really want to do xyz, I will move heaven and earth to find all the pqr I need.

If I pretend I can't do xyz because I don't have any pqr, people will start trying to help me find pqr, and then I will either end up sulking, or doing something that I didn't want to do in the first place.

There is no need to feel guilty about not doing xyz. It's not because I'm weak. It's not because I'm lazy. It's because I don't want to.

It is absolutely fine not to want to do things -- even things that seem fun, or are good for my body or my soul. I do not need an excuse. All I need to do is to be honest in the first place.

2010 by Clare Grant, who also posts at Three Beautiful Things
Reprinted with permission

Wishing you a beautiful day,


  1. GREAT POST! Thank you for reprinting this much-needed wisdom.

    After years of doing things I don't want to do (including moving to a place I HATE in order to please others), I've learned that it's not sinful or selfish to sometimes just say "no."

    Thanks for sharing these wise words.


  2. Hi Brenda, oh what a wonderful post today! I have such a hard time with that too. I hate making excuses, yet I often feel pressured by those who won't take no for an answer. This is something I am really trying to work on. You expressed it so well.

    I'm sorry I missed out on this contest too! What a gorgeous pillow. I'm so happy for the girl who won it. I love anything with roses on it! In fact I am getting ready to redecorate my little studio room soon. Hopefully the painters will be able to come in early October. Our house hasn't been painted inside for over ten years. It is going to be nice to freshen things up a bit.

    I am going to use roses as a theme. I am going to have the walls done in a light minty green and I am going to decorate with pictures of roses and gardens. Since I am not able to garden the way I used to, because of my injuries, I thought I would try to make the room have the feeling of a garden. I want to bring the outside, in. I have been cutting out a lot of pictures and getting ideas all summer. I am also hoping to find some long white battenburg lace curtains, I think it will really brighten up the room in the winter time. I may frame some of my doilies and put them on the wall as well.

    Your blog has been very inspiring to me because it is a reminder how important it is to take the time to add bits of beauty to our lives each day. Sometimes just one little simple beautiful thing can make all the difference! have a wonderful afternoon. With Love, Delisa :)

  3. This is SO true. And honesty IS the best policy.

  4. Patti... lovely to hear from you! We'll pop by and say hi soon.

    Delisa... should you be interested in something with roses and pink still, click on my sidebar for the giveaway at Bayside Rose... the red rose pillow is NOT the only one she's giving away... she has a gorgeous pink chenille pillow. Best pop over there quickly!

    Rebecca... it really is, I agree!

  5. Oh, that is so true! It's so hard to do that, isn't it? I've always felt like I should try to accomodate the other person and then I end up miserable, doing something I didn't want to do in the first place and mad at myself for not just speaking up. But you're right, there's nothing wrong with just saying no thanks, politely.

  6. Hi Brenda, thanks for the tip, I zipped over to Bayside Rose and put in an entry. She has a lovely blog, what a beautiful photographer! Thank you and have a nice evening ahead! Delisa :)

  7. Good advice! We all need to figure this out....

    ~ Violet

  8. Great post, Brenda. Something to ponder on this sunny September day.


To My Beautiful Readers,

Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same. ~ Franz Peter Schubert

Thank you so much for leaving your 'footprint' here in my comment box. I do appreciate you taking a moment to share your thoughts today.

Brenda xox

PS. I do not always comment here, but I do look forward to coming and visiting you....