Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Anguished English



The evening shadows have long drawn their curtains. Right now, I feel like my mind has drawn her own curtains too. Which makes me wonder what I'm still doing at my computer. It's been a busy, but productive day on several fronts... that is, except on my blog. And I regret that you, my dear blogging friends, are the recipients of the last crumbs of my store of energy for this particular day.

Fortunately, my eyes lighted upon my copy of an entertaining book by Richard Lederer, who has published many articles and books about language and literature. His book Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language provides some hilarious examples of language bloopers.

Hopefully I've chosen a few that you haven't seen a million times before! Apparently, the following were found in the classified ads:

For sale:
Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
 
For sale:
A quilted high chair that can be made
into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat,
size 8 and fur collar. (I say, that's quite versatile!) 

Four-poster bed:
101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. 

Note at Factory:
We do not tear your clothing with machinery.
We do it carefully by hand. 

For sale:
Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. 

Dog for sale:
Eats anything and is fond of children.
 
Wanted:
Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
 
Wanted:
Widower with school-age children requires person to
assume general housekeeping duties.
Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. 




On that note, in the words of Samuel Pepys himself.....

Ah, and so to bed!
Brenda

8 comments:

  1. These ads are so funny Brenda and as you say quite a versatile high chair. Not sure which is my favourite they are all priceless. A x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always wanted a desk for a lady with thick legs and large drawers, lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved these! It makes me wonder how many word bloopers I've done myself! Hope your taxes were easy on you this year!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brenda, thanks for the chuckle this morning! I love reading ads like that, it just proves proofread, proofread always!

    ReplyDelete
  5. funny quotes, I've been guilty of a few slips like that in the articles I write.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm all smiles to find your comments this morning! Thank you! BTW, I was going to see if I could find a similar high chair (LOL)....

    ReplyDelete
  7. These are always funny to laugh at when someone else has written them, lol! I've laughed at a few of my own over the years. That was fun reading!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Those are excellent. Thanks for sharing them. I'm loving that you're a writer, btw. I feel a bit of a kindred spirit thing happening, here. :o)

    ReplyDelete

To My Beautiful Readers,

Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same. ~ Franz Peter Schubert

Thank you so much for leaving your 'footprint' here in my comment box. I do appreciate you taking a moment to share your thoughts today.

Brenda xox

PS. I do not always comment here, but I do look forward to coming and visiting you....